Paulina Porizkova has revealed the heartbreaking details of how she found her estranged husband, Ric Ocasek, dead in his bed.
Despite their planned divorce, the couple still lived together in their marital home in New York City. Porizkova was bringing Ocasek coffee as he recovered from surgery when she discovered his lifeless body in September 2019. He was 75.
“His eyes didn’t look like his eyes anymore,” she writes in her newly released book, “No Filter: The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful.”
“I knew what those eyes should look like, I knew those eyes so well. I touched his face. It was cold,” she continues.
The former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl, 57, shares that her “legs went numb and collapsed under me.”
“I have no idea how long I sat on the ground. It could have been a minute. It could have been an hour,” she writes.
Porizkova soon realized that she would have to break the news to the pair’s two sons: Jonathan and Oliver, now 29 and 24, respectively.
“Unable to get up, I crawled down three flights of stairs on my belly and elbows. There were sounds issuing from me that I was only dimly aware of,” she remembers.
The Czech-born stunner was just 19 when she met the 40-year-old Cars frontman on the set of the music video for his song “Drive” in 1984. He was twice-married and a father of four when they embarked on a passionate affair. The two wed in 1989 after Ocasek’s divorce was finalized.
However, Porizkova writes that Ocasek eventually stopped having sex with her, and she knew the relationship was doomed.
“I needed more from my partner than just to be told that I’m beautiful and being worshiped,” she told Page Six exclusively in a recent interview.
The two announced their separation in 2018. When the “You Might Think” singer died unexpectedly the following year, Porizkova was shocked to discover that Ocasek had written her out of his will, citing “abandonment.”
The model told Page Six she felt mixed emotions after the musician’s death.
“It was really, really hard because obviously, first of all, you’re grieving a person that has been your whole life, the most important person in your life … there was so much pain just stacked up on top of each other … and then this betrayal was a lot,” she shared.
“I remember feeling kind of numb for a certain amount of time and then sliding into anger,” she continued. “And then, for me, it wasn’t like, ‘I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him.’ It was more like, ‘You know, I miss him, but look what he did, too.’
“Like, how can I miss a man who did this to me? I mean, I still miss him like that. You can’t erase parts of your entire life. It was complicated, and it will probably remain complicated for the rest of my life.”